Beautiful Consequences | Exploring the outcomes of everyday choices.

the thread.

Posted by Debster on Dec 31, 2011 in Journey | 2 comments

For the last three years, my closest friends and I have chosen a word to carry us into the New Year. I have come to find much meaning in this simple task as I look forward to the fresh start and exciting unknowns of the coming months after December 31st. This is the letter I’ve written to them today (with the most intimate details removed ~ I need to keep some things sacred!). In short, it is my word for 2012 and an explanation for its choosing. I hope in some way it inspires you as you anticipate the close of one year and the opening of another.

******

Our yearly tradition of choosing and sharing a meaningful word has become a cherished element of my goodbye to the past year and a welcoming of the new. The fact that we all are able to gain such an intimate glimpse into each other’s lives through this task is nothing short of a blessing beyond words. We have walked through valleys, celebrated successes and joys, and laughed to the point of absurdity together. Through everything we’ve experienced, be it pleasures or sorrow, God has been the enduring thread that has eternally woven us together. As I sort through my thoughts this morning, I am keenly aware of an overwhelming sense of hope, excitement, and most of all peace about the future. These emotions may very well be gone tomorrow (or even in an hour ~ I am still human), but right now they are here and I’m choosing to bask in their warmth.

The certainty of knowing God threads through us reminds me of the truth that He threads through all my relationships. Reflecting on the last three years of words I am utterly amazed at how God has taken this task and pushed, carried, and pulled me to grow through the blessings and challenges He’s provided. I’ve pursued Him when I could do nothing else, I’ve relinquished control to Him when nothing else I did worked, and I’ve embraced where He has brought me through these last 36 months. I won’t lie, a lot of times it’s felt like hell on earth. It’s been exhausting and I’ve wanted to quit more times than I can count. And it’s why for the last two years and up to today I’ve wanted to choose a word like “peace,” or “rest,” or “escape,” in hopes that the New Year would bring just that. But, deep down I know those words are a selfish manipulation and I desperately cling to the truth that God will never put me through something I cannot handle.

So, as I walked this morning and reluctantly relinquished (STILL working on that one ) my word to Him ~ He reminded me of the unbreakable bond of His thread. It’s the assurance that He will hold all things together no matter how much I, or the people around me, shift. Life has brought lots of shifting my way this year (surprise, surprise). While the shifts have been difficult and challenging they have also brought many personal blessings as well. And the pleasure of seeing the people I love find happiness, direction, and a sense of security is a source of great joy for me.

However, I realize as we approach 2012 that it is time for me to refocus. My growth has been so rapid and in such a time of chaos and change that the me I knew is vastly different from the me I am now. The foundation is still there, but the outer layers have been shed. God has prepared me for this time by teaching me to pursue, relinquish, and embrace. These tasks will no doubt be the cornerstone of this coming year as I strive to refocus my journey, identity, passions, relationships, and my understanding of the person God desires I continue to become. I anticipate pain (if I have learned nothing else in the last three years it is that pain is inevitable on this Earth), but I also look forward to great rewards, new adventures, and the ability to truly experience firsthand the impenetrable strength of God’s thread through the lives of everyone I hold dearly and cling to with all my heart. God will sustain as I refocus. I am absolutely assured of that.

So that’s my word for 2012 ~ refocus. Refocusing is scary. I find the opportunity to focus on others as a way to escape myself and the multitude of fears and insecurities the thought of self-focus drudges up. But I know it’s necessary, I know it’s time, and I am choosing to believe God has readied me for this task.

So….with a deep breath and a shit ton of uncertainty….here I go.

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Matthew 6:6  “Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

Matthew 17:17  Jesus said, “What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives! How many times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up with this?

Ephesians 1:15  That’s why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you—every time I prayed, I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask—ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory—to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him—endless energy, boundless strength!

thankful.

Posted by Debster on Nov 30, 2011 in Contentment, Thanksgiving | 0 comments

I never ended my contentment series. Something happened, life got busy, a new car needed to be purchased, trips out of town were made, moves were situated, and life was complicated for a short time. Does life ever un-complicate? Either way, I neglected the blog. So, as I sat here this evening and contemplated what I could jot down to ensure a November post (no matter how last minute it occurred) could get on the “pages,” I thought about what this month signifies.

Thankfulness.

Lately I’ve felt thankful for things that seem rather redundant in my life. This usually results in some form of shaking my hands up towards heaven and proclaiming, “I could use something new, different, exciting down here!” Talk about tainting the thankfulness with a heaping plate of un-gratitude (yep ~ I created a new word.) So what if I’m thankful for the same old, same old? At lease I have a same old, same old to be thankful for!

The truth is God’s blessings are simple and I live in the complex. At the end of the day, my little analytical brain is going a million miles a minute and God is saying, “You have bread, you have shelter, you have love, what more do you need?” And, low and behold when I actually take a moment to slow down and focus on those things that I am consistently thankful for an overwhelming sense of peaceful contentment envelops me

So, tonight I am expressing my gratitude for the simplicities of life and giving my frontal lobes a break. I am thankful for a warm bed, laughter with tears, my nephew’s kisses, my dog’s snores, fall’s red leaves, a familiar voice on the other end of a phone call, and the people in my life who let me be me.

thanks be to God.

making contentment lemonade.

Posted by Debster on Oct 25, 2011 in Contentment | 0 comments

Said inspiration for this post. In this instance, she is stubbornly refusing to "act" 4-wheel drive despite my desperate pleas. (No, she wasn't born a natural 4-wheel drive).

I know it’s been a few days since I’ve posted but I promise I’ve continued to focus on my 31 days of contentment nonetheless. In fact, it’s been almost impossible not to.

After my last post, I tried hard to create an internal list of those aspects of my life that I find contentment with. It was much harder than I thought! When I focused on certain circumstances I would find ways to place restrictions on the contentment I identified ~ “well, I would be contentment if this little thing changed…” Or, “I’m almost content, I just need this situation tweaked a little bit.” I would get frustrated and begin listing things in my life I was content with. Oddly, the first thing that popped to mind was my car. The list never made it any further because I would immediately give myself a stern talking to for focusing on material matters.

And then I would give up.

Until a funny thing happened on the way to the ~~forum~~ doggie supply store. My car broke down.

Now, before I continue with this post let me very clearly state that I did my fair share of grumbling. I hemmed and hawed about the inconvenience and probable financial ramifications of my car deciding to quit while I was enjoying a leisurely Saturday afternoon drive. But then this little thought would worm it’s way into my head…slowly but surely…“is it possible that there is a lesson in contentment to be learned in your present circumstances?”

Remember how I mentioned in my last post that I was fortunate to hear a friend speak at a conference a week ago? Well this was one of her quotes that stuck in my head and continues to tap me on the shoulder and say, “remember me?” on a daily basis:

“Contentment dismantles the root of hurry sickness.”

I love it. I don’t practice it in the slightest. Until now. Without a car, I decided to spend the rest of the weekend walking to various destinations I needed to go to. And low and behold, what was at first a very significant inconvenience became a beautiful reminder of contentment and the need to slow down.

You could say it was a beautiful consequence.

What I’ve learned in the last few days…

I live in a BEAUTIFUL neighborhood! Maybe I can buy this house someday?!

I love red doors.

My neighbors are WAY into Halloween.

baby steps to get on the bus.

Posted by Debster on Oct 21, 2011 in Contentment | 2 comments

Keep sailing Bob!

Have you ever thought of contentment as a discipline?

I got to hear one of my closest friends speak at a conference last week and she enlightened me with this idea that contentment is more than a feeling ~ it’s an act of discipline (how very appropriate to my 31 days!). If this is actually true (and this friend we’re talking about falls in my top 5 of the wisest people I personally know, so chances are pretty good) contentment has taken on a whole new meaning in my world.

Let’s face, as people we SUCK at discipline. Ok, well maybe not all of us…but I do. I notoriously avoid discipline (unless it involves some sort of rivalry ~ this girl’s got a mean competitive side!). What does placing contentment in the context of discipline tell me? It’s gonna be frickin’ hard. Seriously ~ nothing that follows the words “discipline of…” is going to be easy. Otherwise it would be “the absolute piece-of-cake, breezy of…”

No, discipline takes time, commitment, and dedication. It takes persistence. Nobody won the Super Bowl by picking up a football for the first time on game day. So, does that mean I should just give up now? ~~Maybe.~~ J/K. No. But, it does mean I should give myself some grace when those go, go gadget arms don’t seem to be working. It also means I need a goal to work towards. A baby-step goal. I’m a big fan of seeing and experiencing progress. It’s the behaviorist in me. If I don’t feel like it’s working I ain’t gonna keep doing it. So, a baby-step goal keeps me moving forward. I might not be able to run a marathon ~~ever~~ yet. But I can run for five minutes without collapsing. That’s a baby step.

The first step in any process of discipline is acceptance of where you are at in the present moment. It’s me acknowledging where I can safely say I am content in my life…right now and where I perceive I am experiencing discontent. This creates a foundation from where to spring. So, that will be my first baby-step ~ an inventory of my contents and discontents.

See, I think I can do this…

where are my go, go gadget arms when I need them?

Posted by Debster on Oct 19, 2011 in Contentment | 1 comment

I’m going for honesty tonight so bear with me people.

Ok, truth is sometimes I feel like contentment is just out of reach. Like I’m chasing after some carrot that’s dangling right in front of my nose and I just….can’t….seem….to….reach….it. And then I feel like cursing. A lot.

I really wish that Paul had finished his sentence “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,” with a more concrete description of what that looked like. But all he says is it’s a secret. AGGGGHHHHH! Seriously. Seriously, Paul. Couldn’t throw a chick a bone here. Nice man.

I have been focusing and studying and pondering contentment for 18 days now. I have had some “ah-ha!” moments, some attempts at moving closer towards contentment, perhaps even a deeper understanding of what true contentment means, but today I am allowing myself to fall face first into the frustration of contentment. In 18 days I haven’t given up the desire to want more. And I just can’t seem to reconcile this wanting with a deep sense of satisfaction in my present circumstances. And therefore I conclude that contentment is the Where’s Waldo of my daily experiences. I just can’t seem to find that beany-donning, striped-scarfed-wearing bastard.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not giving up on my rules, which I consider to be more like practices towards learning the discipline of contentment. But today I feel like rules schmules. Just give me the frickin’ carrot already.

liar, liar pants on fire.

Posted by Debster on Oct 17, 2011 in Contentment | 2 comments

A friend sent me an e-mail last night linking me to a blog by Joni Eareckson Tada, a woman who became a quadriplegic after a diving accident at age 17. She is quite famous in evangelical Christian circles for sharing a tremendous faith in God after suffering from such tragic loss at such a young age. This particular blog post happened to be on contentment and I was struck deeply by the following statement:

“All I need I already have.”

Ok, seriously? This amazing woman goes on to write, “What do I have? Well, I don’t have use of my hands, legs, or the sense of touch to feel Ken’s [her husband] embrace. But I do have a voice, a wheelchair, and a husband who loves me. And that, according to the Lord, is all I need. For if there was anything more I needed, he would have given it to me.”

How often do I live my life from that perspective? Ummm…NEVER!? Ok, well maybe every once in a blue moon (and since I’ve never seen a blue moon and don’t even real know if said type of moon exists…we’re talking EXTREMELY infrequently people).

Which now leads me to rule #3 of contentment. If you haven’t been following my 31 days yet, here’s #1 and #2.

3) If you have all you need right now, thinking you don’t actually ignites and intensifies your experience of incompleteness, inadequacy, brokenness, lack of fulfillment, dissatisfaction (feel free to stop me at anytime because the list could go on). In short, you are convincing yourself to believe a lie. And I don’t know about you but when I am lied to (whether someone else is doing the lying or I’m subjecting myself to the lies) I am NEVER content.

So, as hard as it may be ~ start telling yourself and more importantly, believing the truth that today, right now, in this present situation (no matter how challenging, painful, destructive, or impossible it may seem) you have all that you need. Now, wanting…that’s an entirely different story (for an entirely different blog post on an entirely different day). But needs ~ God has you covered. He promises.

A link to Joni’s blog.